PoM: Parody of Mana
by Vampiric
Summary: One hero. One sword. One girl. One sprite. One really old tree. An evil Empire trying to take over the world. And a Mana Blimp. ...Yeah.
1. Your Brain on Medicinal Herbs

(SoM loads up.)

TV Screen: Squaresoft blah blah blah blah-

(Player presses START 5 hundred million times.)

CHOICE

1. Start New Game

2. Continue

Player: Hmm...

(Player picks Start New Game.)

TV Screen: Name: _ _ _ _ _

Player: 5 letters, huh? What if I wanted to name him "Michael" or something?

TV Screen: Too bad.

Player: Fuck you.

(Player names boy MICHA.)

(Micha sobs.)

Micha: Why can't anyone ever name me something cool...?

(The naming screen into black as the introductory movie plays.)

**. Intro .**

(Some dead-looking purple tree trunks appear. The camera pans the dead-looking purple tree trunks as if they were in the least bit interesting.)

Voice: Using Mana, a civilization had grown strong...

(An advertisement for ManaSteroids.com floats onto the screen, with a big buff guy on the front and the words, "VE VILL PUMP U UP!".)

Voice: In time, Mana was used to create the ultimate weapon: the unholy Mana Blimp. ***Dun dun dun!***** The people looked upon it and were like "this is friggin' L337, we don't need those worthless Mana Gods anymore..."**

(The music pulses for a while. The camera pans the Mana Blimp.)

Voice: This angered the Gods. They sent their hordes of fuzzy pink energizer rabites to destroy the evil Blimp...

(Many pink rabites attempt to bite the Mana Fortress. Explosions occur.)

Voice: A violent war rocked the world, and the Gods were like "fine, to hell with you, blimp bitches!" and the people were like "No, to hell with YOU, rabite whores!" and Mana seemed to disappear...

(The Mana Tree appears and does the Macarena before falling over dead.)

Voice: But before all was lost, some random guy with the Mana Sword came and popped the blimp and stabbed all the people and they all died...

(The camera begins randomly circling the Earth.)

Voice: Though the entire world's population had been stabbed to death, the rivers ran with the blood of innocent millions, the blimp blew a giant hole in the ozone layer, and walruses took over the entire ice country, the world became peaceful again...

(The screen fades to black.)

Voice: But time flows like a river, and history repeats... 

2nd Voice: Alright! That's a wrap!

Voice: Damn, talking all raspy like this hurts my throat. I'm gonna go get a beer.

**. Scene 1 - The Waterfall and the Sword .**

Log Bridge Above the Waterfall

(The first scene opens with 2 boys on a log bridge over a huge, gaping waterfall. Timothy, a skinny little computer-geek kid, and Elliott, your local overweight bully, stand on one side.)

Timothy: So when he gets here, we push him off, and we go tell the Elder that a bird hit him in the head and he fell over?

Elliott: Right. Or we could blame it on the ghost your old granny keeps babbling about.

Timothy: My granny does _not babble!_

Elliott: Dude, she snorts medicinal herbs to get high twice a day.

Timothy: Shut up.

Elliott: Anyway-

(Micha runs in.)

Micha: Hey! Guys! Wait up! 

(Micha leans over, panting. He slips a bit, but catches his balance.)

Micha: Whoa! Shit! It feels like someone greased this part of the log or something!

(Elliott and Timothy look at him innocently.)

Timothy: We didn't notice anything.

Elliott: You're just clumsy.

Micha: Yeah, probably. Anyway, are you guys really gonna take me snipe hunting? Golly, it'll be so much fun! I've never actually gone anywhere with _friends before!_

Elliott: 'Cause you have none?

Micha: Yeah! Imean blah blah blah blah blah-

(Timothy whispers to Elliott.)

Timothy: Psst... can we pleeease kill him now?

(Elliott turns to Timothy.)

Elliott: Shh! Be quiet!

Micha: so then I went to her chickens and- Huh? What? Why?

Elliott: What? 

(Elliott turns back to Micha.)

Elliott: Oh. Uh... the uh... Elder will hear us.

Micha: From all the way back in town like a mile away?

Elliott: Uh, yeah. We're pretty high up... sound like... echoes... or something, you know.

Micha: Oh. Okay.

Timothy: Yeah. We're not supposed to be here. There's a ghost around!

Micha: WHAT?!

(Micha jumps and slips on the log, leaning precariously over the waterfall but barely regaining his balance.)

Timothy: Darn!

Micha: What?

Timothy: Uh... darn... you didn't keep standing.

Micha: Oh. ...Thanks!

Elliott: Ha! Do you really believe in that ghost? People just stay that to scare us! 

Timothy: But I heard granny talking about some shiny object near the falls... 

(Elliott pretends to stare at something at the bottom of the waterfall.)

Elliott: Hey wait! I can see it! I think it's some kind of treasure! Look, Micha, if you lean over a bit that way, you can just see it sparkling-

Micha: Ooo! Where?!

(Micha leans over, scanning the ground.)

Elliott: Right over there! I'll show you!

(Elliott and Timothy run over to Micha and boot him off the log!)

Micha: OW!

Timothy: Woops.

(Elliott and Timothy give each other high-fives!)

Micha(fading away): AHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh...

At the Base of the Waterfall

(Micha slams into the base of the waterfall with a satisfying **THWACK!)**

Micha: OW!

(Micha rubs his ass and grumbles.)

Micha: Man... now I remember why I don't like having friends...

(Micha looks up.)

Micha: Phew. No way to get back up... What am I going to do? Where am I going to go? What exciting adventures will befall our daring hero next?!

(Micha blinks.)

Micha: What the hell did I just-

(Micha shakes his head.)

Micha: Whatever.

(Micha wades through the water to get to dry land. He is walking along happily when suddenly, out of nowhere, a flash of light bursts into the area and blinds him.)

Micha: AUGHHHHHH!! MY EYES!!!

(Micha curls into a little quivering ball on the ground.)

Voice: Micha... Micha... the Sword...

Micha: What the hell?!

(Micha waits around for a moment. Nothing further happens.)

Micha: Well... okay, I'll just keep walking now like that never happened. The village is over there, by the way. Though I don't know why I'm saying that out loud since I should know where it is since I've lived there all my life. Or something.

(Micha continues walking on happily like nothing ever happened. He reaches some bushes blocking the way.)

Micha: Well darn! Bushes! Blocking my way! I guess I'll have to go grab some overly sharp and heavy object like a sword or something to cut through it!

(Micha turns around. Conveniently, there is a sword in a stone in the water.)

Micha: Oo. Pretty.

(Micha wades out into the water near the stone. As he approaches the sword, another flash of light blinds him.)

Micha: AUGHH!! STOP DOING THAT!!

Voice: MICHA... Remove the sword...

Micha: Who are you? And what's this sword doing here? And how the hell do I take it, its in a goddam stone!

Voice: MICHA... Remove the sword...

Micha: It's in a stone!

Voice: MICHA... Remove the sword...

Micha: It's in a stone!

Voice: MICHA-

Micha: It's in-

Voice: M-

Micha: It's-

Voice: JUST TAKE THE GODDAM SWORD BEFORE I SMACK THE HELL OUT OF YOUR WEAK ASS!

Micha: Meep.   

(Micha pulls at the sword. It comes free from the stone, and a brilliant light blinds him yet again!)

Micha: AUGHHHHHHHHH! I KNEW IT WAS A TRICK!

(The light fades, and a ghost appears.)

(Micha stares in utter fear.)

Ghost: Micha... It is I who asked... the sword...

Micha: You... just... talked.

Ghost: Yeah.

Micha: Again.

Ghost: Uh huh.

Micha: ...

Ghost: ...

Micha: ...

Ghost: Psst. Hey. You like medicinal herbs?

Micha: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(Micha runs away screaming through the bushes.)


	2. Sugar Cures Your Broken, Bleeding, Torn ...

**. Scene 2 - Monsters, Earthquakes, and Perverts Wearing Purple .**

Rabite Forest

Voice: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Micha runs in through some bushes.)

(Micha pants.)

Micha: Phew... got away from that-

(A small yellow rabite hops in.)

Micha: AHHHHHH!

(The rabite innocently chews on some grass.)

Micha: Whoa! 

(The rabite smiles and warbles at Micha cutely.)

Micha: Weird... What's a rabite doing here?!

(The rabite glares at Micha.)

Rabite: Havin' lunch, bitch, you got a problem wi'dat?

Micha: Meep, uh, no... 

Rabite: No WHAT, bitch?!

Micha: No! Uh... Sir! No, sir!

(Micha quivers in utter terror.)

Rabite: Stop lookin' at me like that.

Micha: But-

Rabite: You need a lesson in PAIN!!

Micha: But I didn't-

(The rabite flings itself bodily at Micha!)

Micha: Meep!!

(Micha cowers behind his sword.)

Rabite: Take THIS!

(The rabite impales itself on Micha's sword!)

Rabite: Nooooooooooo-

(The rabite explodes in a shower of sparks. Poof!)

(Micha cautiously opens his eyes.)

Micha: Um... Mr. Rabite?

(Micha glances around, notices the rabite's absence, and beams.)

Micha: Ph33r my L337 swordmanship skillz!!

(Micha swings his sword around and hits himself in the head.)

Micha: OW!

(Micha grumbles at his sword.)

Micha: I swear I'm gonna get like tetanus from this or something...

(Another small yellow rabite hops in.)

Rabite: Yo.

Micha: Ha! Little rabite! Monster! Learn to fear my sword!

Rabite: Uh... yeah. Whatever. You seen my friend around here? 

Micha: En garde!

(Micha rushes towards the rabite.)

(The rabite takes a huge bite out of Micha's left leg!)

Micha: AHHHHHH!!

(Micha runs away screaming, pausing in a field of grass which happens to somehow be in the woods, and looks pretty clear of monsters.)

Micha: Oww... damn vicious rabites... what did I ever do to it?!

(Another small yellow rabite hops in.)

Rabite: Hey, you look like you could use some-

Micha: AHHHHHHHHHH!!

(Micha runs away screaming.)

Rabite: What? What's so wrong with Candy?!

Potos Village

(Micha wanders in, dragging his left leg and bleeding from several severe wounds.)

Micha: Help... me...

(Micha stumbles and falls over!)

Villager: Welcome to Potos Village!

Micha: Yeah. I live here. Listen, I'm going to bleed to death... Where's the doctor?

Villager: Welcome to Potos Village!

Micha: Wait a sec, we don't even HAVE a doctor.

Villager: Welcome to Potos Village!

Micha: ...Nevermind.

(Micha drags himself to the town store.)

Store

Merchant: Why hello there! You look fine today.

Micha: I'M GOING TO BLEED TO DEATH!

Merchant: Oh, how delightful! Would you like some candy?

Micha: Candy?! I'm DYING!

Merchant: Yeah.

Micha: ...

Merchant: ...

(The Merchant dances around happily.)

Micha: Don't you have a healing potion or something?

Merchant: Those weren't invented yet.

Micha: Damn. I guess I'm just gonna bleed out right here on your counter, then.

Merchant: Well do you want the candy or not?

Micha: But how's candy going to help me?

Merchant: Trust me.

(Micha purchases a piece of candy for the insane sum of 10 pieces of solid, pure gold and eats it. Suddenly, he feels perfectly fine!)

Micha: Whoa.

Merchant: Cool, isn't it? We have a whole line of products like that, Candy, Chocolate, Royal Jelly, sugar-filled Cups of Wishes-

Micha: But like, what if you're diabetic?

Merchant: Eat some Candy, and it'll cure that right away!

Micha: ...Now that's just messed up.

Merchant: Oh, by the way, the Elder was looking for you.

Micha: Oh! I better go see him, then. Hey... thanks for the candy!

(Micha waves and leaves.)

Merchant: ...

(The Merchant snickers.)

Merchant: You are in SO much shit.

Potos Village

(Micha runs over to the Elder's house. The Elder is standing out in his flower garden with Timothy and Elliott, making flower chains for each other.)

Micha: Hey! Guys!

Timothy: What the-

Elliott: Holy-

Elder: Micha! You're not hurt! Damn! 

Micha: What?

Elder: Uh... I mean... Uh... they just told me about what happened, so we were making flower chains to celeb- I mean mourn! Yeah, mourn! Your death. And stuff.

Elliott: I thought you were a goner!

Timothy(to himself): Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

Micha: But hey, guys! I found the treasure!

(Micha glances at his Rusty Sword.)

Micha: Uh, what was... supposedly... a treasure, anyway.

(The Elder, Elliott, and Timothy stare at the sword in terror.)

Elder: MICHA! What's that you have?! ...Oh no! It couldn't be...!

Micha: ...What?

Elder: What have you done?! How could some worthless loser like you have pulled out the great Mana Sword?!

Micha: ...this piece of shit is the Mana Sword?!

Elder: But pulling out the sword is impossible!

Micha: I know! It was stuck in this big rock, but then this ghost came and he was all like oh Micha please pull the sword out and I was like "fine, but it's only to kick your lame ass with" and so I did and it came out! And then the ghost was all like hey do you want medicinal herbs so I was like "no!" and I kicked his ass! And I came back here but there were all these rabites here and they tried to bite me! So I had to teach them all a lesson and defeat them all in glorious battle with my super awesome sword skills and-

Timothy: Dude just say "I pulled out the sword 'cause I'm a dumbass and now everyone's dead."

Micha: Well if you put it _that way-_

Elliott: So _that's it! That's why all the monsters are attacking our village now!_

Micha: What monsters? I didn't see any in the village-

Elliott: How could an outsider like you yank out the sword and bring doom to us all?!

(Elliott bitch-slaps Micha!)

Micha: OW! Hey! Stoppit!

(Elliott bitch-slaps Micha again!)

Elliott: YOU did it! It's YOUR fault! YOU!

Micha: But-

(Elliott bitch-slaps Micha yet again!)

Elliott: WHO'S YO' DADDY?!

Micha: Please, stop! Stop! Stop!

(Micha sobs.)

(Suddenly, the ground begins to shake.)

Timothy: EARTHQUAKE!

(Timothy shrieks.)

(Elliott begins to run around in circles in panic. The ground directly beneath him caves in and he and Micha fall into a giant pit!)

Elder: Oh no!

(All the Villagers crowd around the hole.)

Villager: Help! Help! Elly and Micha just fell in the giant muddy hole!

Villager #2: They're rolling around in it! Look at 'em go!

Villager #3: But they're on top of each other! What if they can't breathe?!

(The door of the bar opens and a knight wearing purple rushes out.)

Jema: Where?! Where's the lesbian mud wrestling?!

(All the Villagers look at Jema strangely.)

Jema: ...What?

Villager: Um... Elliott and Micha aren't lesbians. They're not even girls.

Jema: Oh. ...Damn.

(Jema frowns.)

Jema: Wait a sec, "Micha" isn't a girl?

Villagers: No.

Jema: Does he _look like a girl?_

Villagers: No.

Jema: Does he cross-dress or something?

Villagers: No.

Jema: Is it a nickname?

Villagers: No.

Jema: He's gay, isn't he?

Villagers: No.

Jema: But-

Villagers: No.

Jema: I could have sworn-

Villagers: No.

Jema: Weeeeird.

Giant Muddy Pit Thingy

(Micha attempts to scrabble his way up the wall of the pit.)

Micha: No way... can't get out!

(Micha looks up and sees the villagers crowded around.)

Micha: HEY! COULD ONE OF YOU THROW ME A ROPE?

Mantis Ant: Ahem.

Micha: HEY!! CAN YOU HEAR-

Mantis Ant: **Ahem.**

(Micha glances at the Mantis Ant.)

Mantis Ant: Why, hello there, Lunch.

(The Mantis Ant rubs its claws together in an anticipatory fashion.)

Micha: .........

(Micha buries his face in his hands and sobs.)

Micha: Why me...?


	3. Resurrection is Not Always a Good Thing

A/N: Just a note, this is a parody of the original Secret of Mana (US; SNES), not SD3 or Legend of Mana. 

**. Scene 3 – The Mantis Ant, More of the Pervert in Purple, and About 53 Cups of Wishes .**

Giant Pit-Cave Thingy

Timothy(faintly): Elliott! See what happens when you move your fat ass around too much! Earthquakes!!

Elliott: Shut up! At least I'm not a 59 pound loser wearing a dunce cap around!

Timothy(faintly): It is NOT a dunce cap! And I weigh 60 pounds!!

Elliott: Loser!

Timothy(faintly): Ass!

Elliott: Fartmunch!

Timothy(faintly): Boogerhead!

Mantis Ant: Ahem. Excuse me...

(Micha glances at the Mantis Ant.)

Micha: Uh... Elliott?

Elliott: Your mother sniffs Cups of Wishes!

Timothy(faintly): Does not!

Elliott: Does too!

(The Mantis Ant edges a bit closer.)

Micha: Uh... Elliott?

Elliott: Shut up, I'm busy.

Timothy(faintly): Yeah? Well I saw my mom in bed with your dad last night! I mean... Um... damn! No I didn't!

(The Mantis Ant cleans its claws.)

Micha: Uh... Elliott?

(Elliott turns and glares at Micha.)

Elliott: What?

Micha: There's this big monster... thingy-

(The Mantis Ant claws at Elliott! It is a good hit to the right arm!)

Elliott: AHHHHHHHH!

(Elliott runs off into the corner and cries.)

Elliott: Micha!! You have a sword, YOU kill it!

Micha: But-

(The Mantis Ant claws at Micha! It is an amazing hit to the head!)

Micha: OW!

(Micha flies across the room and slams into the wall.)

(Elliott wets his pants.)

Jema(faintly): Hey. This isn't what I came here for...

Micha: HELP ME!

(The Mantis Ant claws at Micha again! It is a good hit to the head!)

Micha: OW!

Jema(faintly): You down there! What the hell are you doing?!

Micha: DYING!

(The Mantis Ant unleashes a torrent of gem missiles upon Micha's head!)

(Micha flies into the wall at the opposite end of the room.)

Jema(faintly): Look, watch how the monster attacks, then fight it-

(The Mantis Ant gouges out Micha's left eye!)

Micha: AUUUUGGGGHHH!!!!11!!

Mantis Ant: 3y3 pwn j00 bitchez!!

(Micha flails at the Mantis Ant blindly with his sword!)

(The Mantis Ant dodges quickly!)

Micha: I can't see! I can't see!

Mantis Ant: STFU n00b!!

(The Mantis Ant claws at Micha's head!)

(Micha flies into the wall at the opposite end of the room.)

Jema(faintly): Wow, you suck.

Micha: Can't you please just throw a grenade in here or something?

Jema(faintly): What, and ruin all the fun?

Micha: You bastard!!!

(The Mantis Ant suddenly begins to glow bright pink.)

Jema(faintly): Ooh.

(Micha moans.)

Micha: This can't be good...

Mantis Ant: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA!!

(The Mantis Ant leaps at Micha's helpless broken body and runs it completely through with both claws!)

Micha: AUUUGGHHHH!!!!

(Micha just died.)

Micha's ghost: Well... fuck.

Jema(faintly): Damn. Already?

Micha's ghost: Hey... this is actually kinda nice, things can't hurt me anymore-

Jema(faintly): Cup of Wishes!

(Micha is restored to full health!)

Jema(faintly): There! That'll help! More fun for everyone!

(The Mantis Ant beams happily and claps for joy!)

Micha: Well... fuck.

**5 hours later....**

(The Mantis Ant unleashes a torrent of gem missiles upon Micha's head!)

Micha: AUUUGGGGHHHH!!

(Micha just died.)

Jema(faintly): What is this like the 15th time?!

Micha's ghost: NO! DON'T-

Jema(faintly): Cup of Wishes!

(Micha is restored to full health!)

Micha: NOOOOOO!!!

(Micha sobs.)

Jema(faintly): Hee, hee, hee. Yo! Shopkeep! More Cups of Wishes here!

**5 hours later...**

(Jema cheers!)

Jema(faintly): Go Ant go!

 (The Mantis Ant rushes towards Micha!)

(Micha pants.)

Micha: Fuck this! Just take the stupid sword!

(Micha flings the Rusty Sword at the Mantis Ant!)

Mantis Ant: Uh oh.

(The Mantis Ant is impaled through the head!)

Mantis Ant: AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

(The Mantis Ant writhes and explodes in a shower of sparks!)

Elliott(yes, he's still here): WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!

(Elliott wets his pants again!)

(The sparks dissipate harmlessly.)

Elliott: Um... or not...

(Micha picks up the Rusty Sword and a pretty marble.)

***Got Sword's Orb!***

Jema(faintly): Bah. Wait there, I'll pull you out...

Micha: WHY DIDN'T YOU PULL US OUT EARLIER?!

Jema(faintly): Because I'm a sadistic creep.

Micha: Oh.

Potos Village

(Jema pulls Micha and Elliott out of the Giant Pit.)

Jema: Hey everyone! Look at Elliott's pants!

(Jema dances in a circle around Elliott.)

Jema: Elliott's a pansy! Elliott's a pansy!!

(Elliott sniffles.)

Elliott: No I'm NOT!! Whaaaahh!!

(Elliott runs away like the pansy that he is.)

(Jema turns to Micha.)

Jema: So, anyway, that appears to be the real Mana Sword.

Micha: Huh? What?

Jema: The Mana Sword. Like you know, the sharp, pointy shiny thing that you stick into soft things and they go squish and bleed-

Micha: No, that was more like a sort of general "Huh? What? I'm confused" kinda thing.

Jema: ...Oh. Okay. Anyway, the Mana Sword is supposed to be pulled out by a great knight in times of great trouble. The problem is, YOU got there first, and you were able to pull it out. One of those Powers that Be up there must have fucked up majorly, and now the world is doomed.

Micha: Thanks for the encouragement.

Jema: No prob! Also, the world is doomed.

Micha: Um... well... then... here! You take it!  
(Micha offers the Rusty Sword to Jema.)

Jema: Sorry, but that piece of shit has already lost its power, and you've got to go re-energize it. You're the only one that can do that.

Micha: Oh.

Jema: And like I said, the world is doomed.

Micha: What should I do?

Jema: Go visit Sage Luka in the Water Palace. She's been protecting these lands for over 2 quadrillion years. Not that it matters now since some bumbling fool pulled out the sword, and the world is doomed. DOOMED!!

Micha: Why do I get the feeling that you don't have faith in me?

(Timothy runs over.)

Timothy: MICHA! The elder wants you!

Jema: Ooh! Kinky!

(Timothy glances at Jema.)

Timothy: Um... MICHA! The elder wants... to TALK... to you!

Jema: Damn. 

(Jema snaps his fingers.)

Jema: Well, I have to be off. Oh, and by the way, my name is Jema. But you can call me Big Poppa. Or Shirley. Whichever you prefer. Though I do prefer Shirley myself.

Micha: Um... okay.

(Jema waves cheerfully and departs to the South.)

Elder's House

Villager #1: We can't go on like this!

Villager #2: There's no relief in sight!

Villager #3: We've just GOT to sell our oil to those capitalist American bastards or our people will starve!

Elder: No! NO!

Villager #2: Or we could kick people out of the village and leave them alone and defenseless to starve in the wilderness.

Elder: Yes! This idea I like!

Villager #4: Kick Micha out! Kick Micha out!

(Micha runs in.)

Micha: Yo! I'm here!

Villagers: GET OUT!

Micha: But you just said-

Villagers: YOU'RE BANISHED!

Micha: Geez, bitches.

Elder: Wait!

(Sad music begins to play.)

Elder: I don't want to do this, but I have no choice... I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I took you and I raised you... blah blah blah... blah blah blah... blah blah... blah blah your mother blah blah... blah blah blah... and I really wish you didn't have to go, but if you really must go on your quest-

Micha: So I can stay if I want to?

Elder: GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THIS TOWN RIGHT NOW, BITCH!!

Micha: Meep.

(Micha runs out of the Elder's house.)

Villagers: W00t!! 

(The villagers give each other high fives.)

Potos Village

Village guard: So do you have everything you need?

Micha: Um... no, not really.

Village guard: Well too bad.

(The village guard boots Micha out of the town!)

Village guard: You are hereby banished from the village of Potos. Don't come back.

Micha: Say...

Village guard: What?

Micha: Are you going to be here at night, too?

Village guard: I guess. I don't sleep. Ever. It's kinda strange, now that I think about it-

Micha: Is it _possible_, though? That you could sleep?

Village guard: I suppose...

Micha: What if, say, one day, you went to sleep for once, because you knew there was going to be... ahem... money, under your pillow, you know?

Village guard: Huh?

Micha: That a certain someone, like me, for example, would put there so he could get back into town?

Village guard: What?

Micha: I'M BRIBING YOU, YOU IDIOT!

Village guard: Look, just calm down-

Micha: CALM DOWN?! I'M ONLY GOING TO BE FRIGGIN' HOMELESS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE-

Village guard: Geez, I can see why they banished you. Ass.

Micha: ARGGGHHH! FORGET IT! JUST FORGET IT!!!

(Micha picks up his sword and trudges on towards the Water Palace.)


End file.
